R.I.P. Jesse Frank Bryson

Jesse you were an amazing kid and I miss you man so much. I was fine for the first hour waiting to see you. But as soon as I saw, in your photos,  remembered How full of life you were and then looking at you so lifeless like a doll I lost it.  .........Jesse was my age. Died in a car wreck. Instantly.  Just gone. One minute he was there. Next he wasn't. I'm torn up inside. And to make it worse someone prank called me while I was in line to see him. I didn't answer but they left a message. I hate prank calls in general but if you do it to me.....especially while I'm visiting a lifeless dear friend it makes me want to find where you live break in and slit your throat. I'm going now to the convention or whatever love you Jesse! I won't ever forget you man

I feel like t he only thing keeping me from killing myself is there are things in life I need to see first. I need to see what life is like without family. I need to marry the girl I lost recently.  Which I doubt I'll ever be able to do Haha. Some people say they can't live without family.... I Cant live with them. I know I seem heartless. But I haven't had a full day of happiness. If I have so much as seen someone I live with. I want to get just a year and a half to go till first day of adult Hood. Which will be wisely spent getting a tattoo lol

Warning no censorship!

OK it's 5:38 in the morning I haven't slept a lot the past few days. So I'd like to go over some things that just at really piss me off. OK so I was removed as a publisher Yes? And one couple decided to still associate with me. Then my friend gets removed also and they tell me to stay away from him. I'm sorry but Yeah u guys have been there but lately u havent. And the fact that ur telling me to do What uuuuuuu didn't do with me is bull. I'm not a hypocrite........ OK another thing is music.  If it doesn't have Good guitar rifts i start to get pissed if it has a Whiney ass Singer I get pissed. If the "genre" is Hipster or alternative and u still try to make me listen to it I get seriously pissed off and will cuss you out.  And metal if it doesn't meet my standards I don't want to listen to it......not slot people realize music is everything to me. It's all I've ever had to keep me moving. Not parents. Not friends.  Sure as hell not family.  Music, its always been music.....another thing is How my mom won't roll down my f*Ing window in the Car. It's the mountains.  Turn the God damn a.c. off and roll the windows down and cruise.......another thing. Is ty the little bastard has been stealing my stuff like knives that I bought and my sun glasses that iiiiiii bought. An D's he gets away with . When I confront my mom abt the knives. She ignores it. When I Confront her any the glasses s he said he needed them because he had some poison oak on his face. I called bull shit on her to her face. I've Had poison oak  cover the whole side of my face.  Did I need glasses?  Fuck No. .....and t he other day we were at our new dairy qyeen in sylva which is t he last thing this fat ass town needs. Yeah f at people disgust me. There shld be No Fucking reason u shld be that damn big. Anyway we were in there eating. Me ty Erica and mom. It was all fine and t he n Eric (step dad) walks In and sits behind us. So me and ty get in an argument which is nothing.  But he got in my face looked mean the eye and told me to shut up. Which ty neevvveeerrrrrr does.  Why? Cause he knows I'll whip his fucking ass on the spot. He did that be Cause his daddy was there.  So I got up in ty's face and said loudly "you will not talk to me like that. Do it again I'll wear your highd end out and if ur daddy wants to whip my ass for it then by God that would make my day. Why? Cause he hasn't legally adopted me and legally I Can pull assault charges and leave..... so talk like that to me one more time I dare you. You want your ass whipped and your older brothers ass whipped by youurrrrr dad? And then him leave and hate you forever? Come on do it punk ".....he just stood there like a dumbass.  Every bit I said was true. If I beat ty's ass which might be real soon.  His dad will come after me. And Yeah I'll lose more than likely if I don't snap his fucking neck. But either way I'm gonna put up a fight anD's in the end I'll win. Cause I'll get What I want out of this house and out of Eric's grasp.

I home is where the heart is. Why do I feel so fucking heartless?

Well idk

well i decided to create a new blog.....yes the name of it means!!! that this is a critisize free zone, you can do what ya want and not think about it. i made this also just so i can write and complain about all my crap because no one will ever read any of this stuff. and because when i write stuff no matter if no one hears it or not it makes me feel better......ok so here we go..so lately ive been feeling out of place, ya see im a punk atheletic street smart black wolf. while all my freinds (besides like two) are smart smart and lazy. and i love all my friends and i dont like being put down in anyway but then i dont like to tell anyone off when they do it. i feel like this isnt my type of people. but it is i love hanging with them i love them all but i feel like the odd one out no matter what i do. and that what ever i do it gets critisized and isnt good enough. so i dont know what to really do anymore, so im just gonna keep going like always. -shrugs- oh well... i want to be in a band so bad, but i tried and well i sucked and i didnt think they liked it very much so hopefully i can start one with my awesome punk bro mr.shafer...as soon as we get drums. lets see what else. i think i wanna be a douche (not technically of course) because well idk.....naahh nevermind... anywho i cant wait to go waltzing in january but then again megan eberly who i love gets my anxiety levels sky rocketing when we are in public. and she was mean to me last night. when will people realized I DONT CAARRREEEEE if im doing something a little wrong. IM haveing fun and thats what to me is important so get off my ass and go correct someone elses life.. oh and by the way you have a rafter in your eye there.....i hate that i go from being feared but still loved by worldly people then in the truth im treated like dirt, i kinda miss the world sorry but im not gonna lie, i love the truth i love jehovah and i love following his laws and i always will but ya know some of his sheep are really mean and are douche bags and i want to punch all of them in the face and give them a peice of my mind but i dont. YYYYY?????? cause im a better man than that . i think i may turn this blog into a hate blog